#1 – MY BODY AND I FROM THE BEGINNING
Hi all! Welcome to a new post I’m collaborating on with lots of beautiful women from all over the world. Over the next 12 months we’ll be sharing our stories, opinions, ideas all about body positivity and confidence. It’s a top close to my heart and is the reason my blog exists in the first place.
I’ve never gone into why I’ve struggled with my size, weight and appearance throughout my life and to be honest I never will on here. People close to me know but really… at this point… it doesn’t matter. Throughout my life I’ve always felt abnormal and that I physically didn’t fit in. then I’d look at pictures 5 years later and think what the hell?! You were alright! You’ll find lots of the girls taking part in this challenge with full length pictures from their younger days. I don’t have any, and the ones I do are probably in my memory box somewhere. I’m going to include pictures in the post that I never thought would see the light of day. Pictures that would have made me cringe years ago and I’ll let you know why!
Taking blog pictures outside, in the light of day with handfuls of people walking past definitely helps overcome self confidence issues!
So for years I’ve tried diets, swayed between 4 or 5 different dress sizes and spent hours considering how I can change. I was forced to have school uniforms altered and wear the worst trousers because I was too big. Nothing existed in life to make me feel good about myself. Apart from maybe nail polish and shoes which meant I spent endless amounts on these. Now? Now I’m OK. I stress the work OK because it’s kind of neutral. It’s that level place that I’ve wanted to be for so long. I’ve recently decided I want to be a bit healthier. That’s OK. I look in the mirror and I think you’re OK. OK is reasonable. It’s a happy place with balance and I like it. Don’t get me wrong, to get to this point it’s been hard and I’ve thrown myself out there and I’ve done things that I didn’t think anyone could even pay me to do! But it’s thickened my skin and made me appreciate my strength.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I look in the mirror and think Looooooorrrrrd! Other times I look in the mirror and think hmmmm you’re looking kind of hot today! Its swings and roundabouts. A journey of self-confidence never ends. This is a good thing. The major thing that changed in my life was finding the plus size blogging community. Big, beautiful, fashionable women who wore the clothes I wanted to wear and radiated happiness. I wanted to be that. So, I decided if they can do that then I can. So I did.
I had a bra fitting for the first time. the size I was wearing was so wrong! I went down 2 back sizes and up a cup size. Instant uplift! Curvy Kate made me feel amazing so I shared it. Yes. I can’t believe it either.
It’s given me more confidence then I could ever imagine. People noticed that I was rocking bright, colourful clothes, that I was more opinionated, outgoing and just a bit more Hollie like. I learnt that I can be me and in the big scheme of things I shouldn’t really care what people think. I always looked out the corner of my eye thinking… oh gosh, they are whispering about how disgusting I am. But now (most of the time) I’ve flipped the script on that crap and think actually, they COULD be saying how amazing / brave / pretty / I am… or how much they like my shoes! Who knows and why should I care. Body shaming is not ok, but if I don’t allow words to have power… I’m the winner and sometimes your mind is your worst enemy.
I didn’t have my arms out for 4 years. I was literally a cardigan queen. When I started blogging I branched out and it was more liberating than I can ever say. So I went all out. Bare legs and arms. Did the world end? Nope.
I’ve realised that there is beauty is everybody and no matter what flaws I have or you think you have, someone will find beauty in them and so should you. Don’t waste your life searching for the better you… you’re OK as you are now and however you’ll be in the future.
Check out the other ladies taking part in the Unconditional Body Beautiful Posts.
http://www.jaymiranda.com
http://www.thecurvyandcurlycloset.com
http://www.everydayrunway365.blogspot.com.es
http://www.lagorditapresumida.com
http://www.shalondozier.wordpress.com
http://www.corporatecurvygirl.com
http://www.prettybigbutterflies.com
https://curvesbecomeher.wordpress.com
http://falalamele.blogspot.com
http://josofabscurvesity1.com
http://stylecassentials.blogspot.com
