Presented by BetterHelp.
Getting along with people doesn’t always go smoothly. We’ve all been there with an aggressive coworker, a demanding family member, or a difficult friend. It’s perfectly natural to come into conflict with the people around us, but some people can feel especially toxic.
When it feels like someone dislikes you or is out to get you, it can stir up difficult feelings. These feelings can be accompanied by physical symptoms of stress in the body. For some useful tips on how to deal with people who hate you, check out this revealing BetterHelp guide:
www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-deal-with-people-who-hate-you/
In this article, we’ll look at some of the ways it’s possible to start feeling better about dealing with difficult people that don’t include waiting for them to become better a person. It’s possible, and it all starts with learning what you can do to better manage your own emotions surrounding the situation.
Take Steps To Avoid Internalizing The Conflict
Protect yourself, and don’t blame yourself. When someone acts out, it says more about their behavior than yours. Whatever happens, don’t take it upon yourself to do whatever it takes to remove the conflict or “fix” the person who shows aggression toward you. It’s unhealthy and unnecessary to internalize the conflict or blame yourself for what’s happening.
Recognize We’re All Human
No one’s perfect. Also, no one is irretrievably bad. We’re all flawed human beings who do good and bad things. Taking a less black-and-white approach to the person who may dislike you can offer valuable insights for managing conflict levels. It may even be helpful to think back to a time when you were frustrated and acted out inappropriately. We’ve all been there.
That’s not to say you’ll ever really like the person, but you can try to be more forgiving of yourself and others. Finding common ground can be a positive step in the right direction.
Know It’s Not About Changing The Person Or Teaching Them A Lesson
There are things that are within our circle of control, such as our reactions to events. Then there are those things that are outside our circle of control, such as the way others act. Remember, there’s no way to change someone.
And getting revenge or wanting to teach the aggressive person a lesson can lead to negative feelings for the person plotting the revenge. The result is feeling more out of control, because we’re spending time on things and people we can’t control.
Find Healthy Ways To Stay Calm
In some ways, it’s not the difficult person that’s causing you problems but the effects of the difficult person. Our body can react physically to interactions with an aggressive person. The result can be symptoms like shallow breathing and a racing heartbeat – signs that our nervous system senses a threat.
So even though someone doesn’t pose a physical threat, it can feel like they do in our body. Practicing breathing exercises and mindfulness can strengthen our body’s calming parasympathetic nervous system response, which can bring down the symptoms of stress. That means even though the stressful person is still there, we don’t feel the stress from them as intensely.
In Conclusion
When dealing with people who dislike us, whether it’s coworkers or family members, it’s important to focus on what we can change. The only thing we’re truly in control of is our reaction. If the negative feelings surrounding a challenging relationship become overwhelming, please seek the help of a mental health professional. A licensed therapist can help to guide you to better managing a negative relationship in your life.
