Being a married mum of two I feel really lucky that I have been able to create the family of my dreams, but I do recognise that it isn’t always a smooth path to parenthood for everyone. However, as much as we can recognise that being a parent isn’t always the easiest thing to make happen, women still start to feel pressure to become mothers when they get to a certain age – which can make it a trickier topic to discuss. Proxeed recently looked at how hard it can be to talk about the times when you’re not able to be a parent and the importance of communicating if you do find yourself in this situation.
What Does Family Mean?
Although I realise it is easier said than done, try to remind yourself that family isn’t just the children you give birth to. Instead, we can carve out our families and these come in all shapes and sizes – friendship groups, being a dog mum, taking on step kids – they’re all important and not something that you should disregard if you’re lucky enough to have. I understand that I am blessed to be a mum, but I do know that I would be lost without my chosen family too.
Communicating Your Issues
Whether you’re struggling with fertility, or something else within a relationship one of the most important things is to make sure you keep up with communication. Proxeed and their Art of Trying campaign looked at the struggles couples may face if they’re facing infertility and one of the biggest factors was that communication is something that we need to keep up.
However, I know from being married and having two children that it is communication through all parts of a relationship that matter. It isn’t always easy to talk about what we need & the things that have the potential to upset us in a relationship, but the truth is that if we don’t communicate our feelings how can we expect anything to change?
Creating a Happy Life
Whilst being a mum makes me really happy, I know that in order to truly be content I need more than just parenthood. Days out with my friends, date nights and sometimes even just a walk around the block on my own are all important for feeling like me, and not just like mum. Whilst I can understand that infertility is going to be difficult to navigate and probably going to consume most of your thoughts; but creating a life outside of that in order to help yourself be happy in other parts of your life really is important. Take up a new hobby, get a pet, tell friends how you are feeling or arrange weekends away with your partner – whatever it is that you will enjoy and bring some happiness to your life.
There are so many ways to create a family and so many ways to be happy, so talk to your partner about how you are feeling and give yourself the best possible chance of finding them.
