If you’re a parent in the 21st century, then the question of when to allow your child to use a smartphone will inevitably arise. While you can’t prevent them from using smartphones forever, you can sometimes wonder what the right age is to allow your children unbridled access to apps and the internet. It’s not an easy decision.
Just remember: you’re not alone in your struggle. Every year, millions of parents go through similar decision-making processes. Should they allow kids to use apps? Shouldn’t they? It’s not always clear.
In this post, we’re going to take a look at what age you should allow your children to gain access to their first smartphone. We’ll look at some of the pros and cons, and why parents might be concerned about their kids owning them.
Why Parents Are Concerned About Their Children’s Use Of Smartphones
There’s no question that smartphones have dramatically enriched the lives of children. Their phones provide them with a handheld library that they can use to educate themselves about the world around them. For a child, phones are a powerful tool. And it offers entertainment.
Parents, however, can still find themselves worrying about the impact that they might have on their lives. There are all sorts of concerns that pop up with surprising regularity. They include:
- Fear that children are spending too much of their time in front of screens and not enough outside in the fresh air
- A concern that smartphones are difficult to put down and that they might be hijacking the reward centres of children’s developing brains
- The worry that the need for affirmation on social media apps is leading some kids to feel depressed about their life circumstances
- The alleged relationship between excessive cell phone use and symptoms of anxiety and depression.
While the reasons for being opposed to mobile phones and similar devices seem legitimate, there’s no denying that they are a necessary technology. Depriving a child of a phone is depriving them of a modern way of life and a tool that they will inevitably have to learn to use as they get older.
Smartphones: It Feels Like Opening Pandora’s Box
As parents, we try to shield our children from knowledge of the worst things about the world. On the internet, though, anything goes – they can learn, watch and see just about whatever they want without limits. Parental controls can help to an extent, but they can never provide full protection.
For this reason, giving a child a mobile phone can feel a lot like opening a Pandora’s box. All of a sudden, you’re handing over a tool that allows them to consume whatever content they like, with practically no restrictions.
It’s worth pointing out that this isn’t a new problem for parents – it’s just taking a different form. In the past, caregivers had to contend with the internet on the family computer as well as R-rated movies and so on. In today’s world, technology has changed, but parents still need to have their wits about them. Devices have become increasingly personal, to the point where phones are only accessible from a single individual, monitoring much more difficult.
Coddling, though, is probably a bad strategy. Your child will wonder why all the other children are allowed phones, but they are not. Denying phones outright is a recipe for arguments. The other problem with it is that your child never learns how to navigate the internet for themselves. Then, when they finally do become an adult, they don’t have the skills and self-regulation they need to remain safe.
So how should you decide on what age to allow your child to use a smartphone?
Good question.
Let’s take a look at some of the factors you may want to consider.
Look At The Price Offered By The Network
Unless your kids are old enough for a paper round, then there’s a good chance that you’ll be paying their mobile phone bills. For this reason, you want to make sure that you’re with the right provider.
Currently, there’s a debate around whether Giffgaff or SMARTY is the better network. Both offer rock-bottom prices, but they also offer something else that might interest parents – limited bills.
Kids don’t always understand the value of money (or whether they’re using yours to make in-app purchases). For that reason, it is easy for them to rack up bills, putting you on the hook. You need to check, therefore, that your network provider offers automatic caps that kick in after a certain threshold to prevent excessive spending.
Know That There’s No Right Age – It All Depends On The Child
If you do a quick internet search, you’ll find that experts seem to agree that 13 is the right age to give a child a smartphone. This rigid cut-off point, though, probably isn’t helpful for most parents. Some kids are pretty advanced in their thinking by this age, while others have a long way to go.
The truth is that there is no magical age when a child suddenly becomes capable of owning a smartphone. For some, it can be much younger, and for others, much older.
Understand That There Is No Research On The Topic
You would have thought that an issue as important as smartphone use among children – the most significant change to the lives of kids in centuries – would have attracted some academic interest. Strikingly, though, it hasn’t. There is barely any research on it, and certainly nothing definitive that tells parents what they should do, based on the scientific evidence.
The best that parents can do right now is rely on “professional advice,” but even that is lacking. A professional might believe that a child shouldn’t use a smartphone before the age of 13, but that’s assuming that all kids are the same. They’re not.
With that said, most parents seem to intuitively agree that kids shouldn’t be using smartphones in elementary school. The dangers would appear too great, and the benefits too small. Why would a child of five years of age need a supercomputer to organize their social life? Isn’t that what their parents are for?
Owning A Phone Is Useful
Never forget, though, the practical advantages of having kids with phones. You can find out where they are at any time of day or night and communicate with them when you have a problem. You can also use their devices as a family organization tool – something that offers an unprecedented level of supervision. Remember, you can now get apps that show you where your child is at any given time using GPS, allowing you to collect them, wherever they happen to be. You can even plop your phone into the holder in your car and instruct it to navigate to your child’s location when you need to collect them. It is a marvel of modern technology.
Okay, so those are the issues with giving your kids a smartphone, but are there any tips of general rules of thumb you should follow?
Take a look at the following.
Discuss The Ground Rules
Please don’t assume that your kids know how to use their smartphones safely ahead of time. Most children probably don’t. It’s a good idea, therefore, to go over some ground rules before providing them with unbridled access.
Try not to take a top-down approach. Just have a friendly chat with your kids about how you use your phone and how you stay safe. Obviously, your kids shouldn’t provide people they don’t know with personal details or send any money via apps to people they haven’t met.
It’s also worth laying out the reasons for canceling your child’s contract. In extreme circumstances, you may have to take this step to protect them.
Tell Them That You’re “Lending” Them Their First Smartphone
A lot of parents fall into the trap of “giving” their child a phone, allowing the child to assume ownership (and thus permitting them to do whatever they like with it). A simple change in terminology, however, can radically change their psychology.
Instead of giving a phone to a child, tell them that you’re “lending” them one instead, subject to them using it responsibly. In this situation, you can make the use of the phone seem like a trial. If they do a good job and use it well, then they can carry on borrowing it. If they don’t, then you can just take it back.
Conclusion
If you started reading this article believing that you were going to get a clear and straightforward answer, then sorry to disappoint you. As we’ve seen, the age at which you should give your child a smartphone isn’t clear cut. It really does depend on the child.
If you haven’t taken the plunge yet and given your child a smartphone, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you’re a prude. Ultimately, it is up to the parent to judge for themselves when the time has come for a child to get access to a handheld supercomputer all of their own.
