It’s been a crazy year. My baby boy is now 1 year old. A whole year! I can’t even tell you how quickly time has gone. It feels like a bit of a time warp to be honest. One minute I was waking up on adrenaline giving feeds at 2am and now I’m watching this cute little bean take his first steps, bite like a wild animal and giggle at anything. Oh and dancing. This baby LOVES a good tune and won’t stop dancing!
Did I struggle?
Hell yeah! I’ve struggled being a mum this year. It started easy, got really hard and is now getting easier. I didn’t have postnatal depressions but there were times I thought I had. Times when I wanted my old life back, of being able to sleep, relax and not feel tense 24/7. I’m a really independent person and the thought of having to put myself last… forever… well, it became hard to swallow!
But 1 year on, it is magical but it’s hard. I look at Cameo and think WOW! I made you. He is a happy, strong little boy and he has taught me a lot about myself, as well as how strong I am. We’ve had a week in intensive care, allergic reactions and breathing problems. Yet his miracle recovery each and every time has put me to shame. He has made me realise life really is short.
So short I gave up my job.
Bloody hell. I gave up my job! 7 years, promoted to manager, pretty decent salary and a great team. But I gave it up to follow a dream. A dream of making money for myself, working for myself doing something I enjoy and getting to spend time with those I love who quote frankly, won’t be here forever.
Oh my days. My parents. If angels were humans, they were top of the list. They have been my rocks, my best friends, and my absolute dream team. They are the best grandparents I could ask for. Money couldn’t buy them, that’s the truth. They have Cameo at ‘nanny’s nursery’ on certain days and even over night when the time needs it. They love him, almost more than they love me and that warms my heart more than any hot chocolate. Cameo is my dad’s best friend. It’s amazing. Working for myself means I can spend more time with them. Precious time that I know won’t last forever, although the thought kills me that they might not be here. For now, we’re lucky and rich in a way that money will never, ever replace.
Oh yep. The first word was Daddy. Of course it was! (He has said mama once…. yes… once!) Cameo loves his Daddy aka Probably Busy, almost as much as he loves chicken nuggets. (Weaning this kid was easy; he is a hungry little bean!) His Dad has been my rock and the best Dad ever. He has let me still live my life. Taking part in campaigns and events so that I still feel like me. Changing nappies and even doing the night shift. He is like a lottery win that I’m not sharing.
Friends have paid a massive role too this year. The ones that are still here. I understand the ones that aren’t. You outgrow people, life is different. I went through a stage of struggling and not being able to talk to anyone. But the friends I have now are the family I’ve chosen. Bloody good eggs I tell you.
I still struggle to believe I’m a mum. But I’m proud that Cameo is doing well despite the hurdles we’ve overcome this year. Our life isn’t perfect but that’s what makes it special. We’re a busy team, a really strong one though. We’ve got an exciting 2018 coming. Cameo is on the verge of being a toddler and talking. He really tries but most of his words are oggy oggy oggy right now. With the odd, oh-oh, dada and hello thrown in. He is a beauty of a kid though. A kind heart. If her thinks you’re upset he’ll try and give you his dummy. Even at 1 year old he has a tiny understanding of empathy. That’s my kid all right.
I’ll be sharing a lot more with you on the blog this year. Now I’m back on track with life (slightly… if anyone knows a cleaner let me know!). So watch out for all the good stuff heading your way.
You can follow me on Instagram too, if you fancy it, I’m a bit addicted!