Ah, the dreaded FOMO. Since the term popped a few years ago, FOMO (an acronym for Fear Of Missing Out) has become one of the most used pieces of text-speak in conversation — because it resonates so much with all of us. We can’t be in two places at the same time (much as we wish we could), so whether it’s work events, social occasions, faraway celebrations or simply hanging out with friends that we’re skipping, the fear (of missing out) is real.
Since having my second son and moving to Nottingham from London in the summer, the FOMO has pretty much been hanging over me. I can’t just pop out whenever I feel like it. Plus, so many events, almost all of them, seem to happen in London. I’ve always known that, but I’ve always been lucky enough to live in the big city. Getting invited to amazing events but having to pick or choose is really hard. Then seeing what happens on social media is like rubbing salt into the wound! But there’s nothing I can do about it, to be honest. So I’m trying to deal with it see what works for me.
One thing I’m really trying to do is to focus on myself. Do things that I love, wear clothes that I adore and make content that I’m a fan of. I’m making time to do what I love and that’s helping combat the FOMO feeling that pops up at times. For example, this absolutely gorgeous dress from Elvi has totally blown my mind. It’s too gorgeous not to share right? I didn’t get to wear it at an event I was invited too because my little beans were poorly and I made the decision to stay at home. But what I did do was take some epic outfit shots that I really adore. They might not be classified as professional, but I love them, so expect to see them on Instagram! As a little heads up the sizing is spot on and you can get 20% off at Elvi with my code HOLLIE20.
After trying a few different things, here are my top tips make yourself feel less bad about making those decisions; here’s how to stop FOMO.
Reduce social media use
Cut down on scrolling through Instagram, looking at your friends having fun without you, and you’ll instantly feel a lot better. Remember that what’s posted on the internet isn’t necessarily the truth, and it might not be as much fun as it looks. Conversely, stopping the habit of taking photos for social media can help you be more present in the moment, helping you enjoy the place you’re in right now, instead of worrying about where else you could be. Life isn’t about likes and shares, it’s about enjoying your time on this earth the way that you want — not anyone else. I know how hard this is. I mean… social media is a huge part of my job! BUT, take a step away from the phone and have a few hours of self-care time.
Say ‘yes’ when you can
If you don’t want to feel the fear of missing out, try not to miss out. If you can, try to make yourself go to that party, spend happy hour with your coworkers, or arrange that solo trip you’ve been daydreaming about for months. Squeeze time into your schedule, and you’ll find that often time will appear. It can be hard to give yourself the extra push, but when you can, do it. You probably won’t regret it.
Don’t feel guilty about saying ‘no’ when you need to
If you really can’t go, though — or you just don’t want to — there’s no shame in turning events down. Make sure that you look after yourself and your own mental health. People worry that saying ‘no’ too much might mean your friends start to feel like they’re annoying you by asking, and you might get invited to fewer things. If that happens, then you have the wrong friends.
If you’re worried about the same thing but to do with business; for example PR contacts or business people. I totally get this. But it’s always worth being honest with them, asking if there’s anything you can do remotely and keeping in touch AFTER the event too!
Enjoy the moment
The best way to combat FOMO is by changing your mindset. Instead of thinking ‘what if?’, enjoy the present while it lasts. Instead of looking around you for the most interesting person at a party, really, truly listen to the person you’re talking to right now. Instead of searching for the perfect Instagram photo, find the best coffee shop and keep it just for you. Slow down, compare yourself less to others, and you’ll find your FOMO-related stress melt away. Well, until next time anyway!
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